woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
