take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
