yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
