Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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