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I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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