Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Farmville is her only friend.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
