Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
