she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize