You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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