After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
