bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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