I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize