i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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