its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
