I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm both gender and math confused
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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