Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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