our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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