Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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