my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra