They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.