just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
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I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
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He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life