vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
