i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
