I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
