so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
