i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
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I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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