at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
