This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
