I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
