yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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