worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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