Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
