Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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