I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
