Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize