My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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