He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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