if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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