I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
