Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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