well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
