He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
