There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
