I seem to have left my pride at pride
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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