Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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