I think I died a long time ago.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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