May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
