How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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