I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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