brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
