At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
