I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
