im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
