the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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