ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
