Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize