direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
