I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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