FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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