Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.