dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
