we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
